This I believe...

Through my blog vAllergy-Free, I will share my journey back to health.  Alone is no where to be when searching for foods that are allergy-free. I depend upon bloggers with similar experiences to share their stories and to inspire me to just keep going, to stay positive, to try new things, and to share the highlights of their food journeys. Periodically, I hope to contribute to this allergy-free community by sharing my journey, recipes, shopping tips and to provide reviews of helpful apps and books.

Part 1:  This I believe…

Ok, Edward R. Murrow, your 1950’s radio show is the inspiration for my first blog post.  Here goes. Influenced by Lao Tzu, Jules Bass and Maury Laws, Robert Frost and Reinhold Niebuhr - these are rules I live by.

Roots ground us.

Life is a journey.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Take the first step, no one is going to take it for you.

Put one foot in front of the other.

Just keep going.

A journey is a series detours.  

Maps are made by people who have already been there.

Roads diverge; make the best choice.

Accept the things you cannot change.

If you don’t like where you’re going, have the courage to change your direction.

Be wise.

Everyone, and everything, has a season.

And for me, it’s always allergy season.

Part 2:  Roots

When facing the unknown, we often return to the known.  And so, in the light of my current medical situation, I find myself on a journey back to my roots.  Literally. Roots. I was raised on a farm.  Naturally, my primary roots were established in the garden while turning up my nose at the thought of eating the string beans we had spent hours planting, weeding, picking, snapping, blanching, freezing all summer and then eating the neverending supply all fall, all winter and all spring.  Of course there were other vegetables that had been -inged for hours before landing on my dinner plate, along with a hunk of a familiar slaughtered beast that I used to consider a pet.  (How could I not consider cows a pet when we named them in alphabetical order?)  Every fall, our freezers were full of meat and vegetables; my grandmother’s canning room was truly jampacked; potatoes, squash and onions filled Grampa’s cool, dark and dirt-floored root cellar.

I sprouted secondary roots during my adolescence. During the 1980s, America’s relationship with food and fitness changed. Fitness centers like Gold’s Gym had developed reputation by sponsoring and showcasing oily, posed bodybuilders. Juice bars weren’t just in California anymore, carrot juice and sprouts were en vogue across the country.   Arnold Schwarzenegger’s muscles filled the movie screen as we flocked to Conan the Barbarian and The Terminator.  Jane Fonda had us in leotards and leg warmers doing aerobics by “up, and squeeze, relax”-ing our tushes. Richard Simmons, in his patriotic red and white striped shorty-shorts and blue tank top, shouted from the rooftops about growing American waistlines while motivating people to “party off the pounds” by sweatin’ to the tunes of the 80s. Fitness became a business.

I often wonder what my grandfather and great uncles thought about fitness centers. They curled hay bales, squatted to do something useful (milk the cows) and did woodchoppers for real.  I wish I had asked.  

Along with the fitness industry, our food industry made drastic changes in the 1980s as well. As a teenager, I watched my obese dad change his direction.  The nutritionist colored a diet, put him in the shrinky-dink oven with a plan, and out popped (or so it seemed to me) a new dad.  A dad who donned his running shorts after work to pound out 8 miles before supper.  Suddenly light bread, diet cheese, 1% milk, and reduced fat margarine appeared in our kitchen.  Diet products, my mom's new way of cooking, and exercise worked. My dad was proof. The nutritionist was right. Right?  Right or wrong, this experience became part of my root system that guided my nutritional choices along the road.

Part 3:  One road

I have a confession.

Two roads diverged, and I took the one with newest claim. For the majority of my adult life, my dinner plate was filled with meat from the grocer’s freezer, fruits and vegetables trucked across state and national borders, and cart-fulls of foods conveniently packaged in boxes, bags, jars and assorted plastic containers claiming to be light, reduced, low or have fewer of somethings. Of course I knew it was healthier to eat the way I was raised on the farm, but boxes, bags and assorted plastic containers were so easy, affordable and tasty. I’m educated. I read the labels to make the healthiest choice --  even if it was between two sub-stellar products.

Yes, two roads had diverged.  At the turn of the century, I sighed and knew I had taken the wrong one. I came to understand it was my Dad’s behavior, more so than the diet foods, that facilitated his physical transformation in the 80s.  But, it was not my season to change, or so I said for a plethora of reasons.  Ok, excuses.  I told myself: I haven’t got time... I am a busy woman!  I am a wife, a  mom of two, a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece and an aunt. I am a reader, a runner, a gardener, a homeowner, a camp owner, a teacher, a student, a mentor, and a volunteer in my spare time. I know, we all have 24 hours in a day, we spend those hours on what we value most.  I do value my health. Did I mention I teach health education?  Yeah, I took a temporary detour.  

Part 4:  Georgia and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Detour

Since I am a literacy specialist, former kindergarten teacher and early childhood education instructor as well as a health educator, I think books. I think Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz sums up they way I feel about this detour along my journey.

This post is a long and sordid tale.  I wouldn’t blame you if skip ahead to Part 5 or if you scroll through quickly - I wish I could have!  I know some people will find this interesting as personal connections are made, while other people will not. Forge ahead if you choose as I paraphrase the highlights of my last five years in reader’s theater (scripted) format:

Urgent care doc:	“This cold has turned to pneumonia. And, by the way, you probably have asthma.”
Me:	“OK, whatever. Just give me something to stop this cough.”
	A few months later...tight chest.
Primary care doc:	“Asthma.”
Me:	“Really?”
Primary care doc:	“Yes.”
Me:	“Why?”
Primary care doc:	“Seasonal allergies. Take Zyrtec, a round of steroids and use this inhaler to relieve the symptoms.”
	Sinus infection, tight chest, steroids, sinus infection…
Primary care doc:	“Here’s a script for antibiotics and another type of inhaler, do it twice a day.”
	Sinus infection, antibiotics x 10!  Yes, ten rounds in nine months plus a few steroids!
Primary care doc:	“Go see an ENT.”  (Ear, Nose, Throat specialist)
ENT office:	“Sure, we can see you in 2 months.”
Me:	“Is that the soonest you can see me?”
ENT office:	“Yes.”
ENT doc:	“I need to put this scope down the nose... Your sinuses are a mess - surgery! Deviated septum, reduce the turbinates, balloon plasty…” blah blah blah.
	Surgery 8 days before being a bridesmaid doesn’t make for flattering wedding photos!
ENT doc:	“You are fixed!”
Me:	“Really?  I still feel terrible.  My nose hurts to touch, my sinuses burn and feel swollen inside, my whole face hurts and why does it hurt to smile?”
ENT:	“Scope down the nose! CT scan is fine just keep rinsing with saline.”
Me:	“Really?  I still feel terrible. My nose hurts to touch, my sinuses burn and feel swollen inside, my whole face hurts and it even hurts to smile.”
ENT:	“Really, I did my job! Are you rinsing with saline?”
Me:	“Yes.”
ENT:	“Go see an ID.” (Infectious Disease doctor)
ID doc:	“Go see a different ENT for cultures.”
ENT #2:	“Scope down the nose!”
ID doc:	“White blood cell scan!” (Imagine… my sinuses lit up like a lightbulb!)
ENT #2:	“Are you rinsing with saline? Are you using distilled water?”
Me:	“Yes and yes.”
	(Funny side note, by this time my son would holler down the grocery aisle, “Hey ma! You need more nose water?”)
ID doc and ENT #2 concurr:	“Bone infection, complication of surgery. IV antibiotic therapy 3 x day x 6 weeks.”
	Allergic reaction, full body rash, new antibiotic.
ID doc:	“Critters should be dead.”
Me:	“Really, I still feel terrible.  Well my nose still hurts to touch, my sinuses burn and feel swollen inside, my whole face hurts and it still hurts to smile.”
ID doc:	“Go see ENT for a scope down the nose and bone biopsy.”
	A bracelet inscribed with “just keep going” arrived in the mail from my aunt.  So, I do.
ENT #2:	“Stitches out, scope down the nose, looks good, but…”
ID doc and ENT #2 concurr:	“Another round of IV antibiotic therapy 3 x day x 6 weeks.”
	Another full body rash! Allergic to another antibiotic, switch to a new one.
IDdoc:	“Critters should be dead.”
Me:	“I still feel terrible although my nose doesn’t hurt to touch,my sinuses burn and feel swollen inside, my whole face hurts and it still hurts to smile.  I’m nauseous most of the time.”
IDdoc:	Really? I have done my job. Take probiotics for a month.
ENT #2:	“Really? Go see the allergist for testing.  Keep rinsing with saline.”
	So, I do.  I just keep going. Ok ENT #2 doc, you’re fired.
Allergist:	“Your allergic to trees, grass, insects, dust, mold…”
Me:	“Great, kind of hard to avoid these things in rural Maine.”
Allergist:	“Two shots a week for a few years will desensitize you and keep rinsing with saline. By the way, I am retiring, go find a new allergist.”
Allergist #2:	“The other guy didn’t test for food allergies?  You need tests.”
Allergist #2:	“Tests didn’t reveal any food allergies, just stick with the two shots a week for the next, oh probably 3-5 years and keep rinsing with saline.”
ENT #3:	“Scope down the nose. The other doctor left a stitch in here which is causing pain. Rip! Rinse your nose with saline but add this steroid to the mix, looks inflamed and raw; use this topical antibiotic ointment.”
ENT #3:	(Next appointment) “Looks better!”
Me:	“Really, I still feel terrible?  My sinuses burn and feel swollen inside, my whole face hurts and it even hurts to smile.  My headache never goes away, I’m tired, I’m depressed, I feel disconnected.”
ENT #3:	“Well, let’s give it more time.” More time passes. “Still looks good.”
Me:	“Really, I still feel terrible.  My sinuses burn and feel swollen inside, my whole face hurts and it even hurts to smile.  My headache never goes away, I’m tired, I’m depressed, I feel disconnected.”
ENT #3	“Could be a migraine disorder or nerve damage. Go see a neurologist.”
Neurologist:	“CT scan, injection in the face.  Take this medicine. Come back in 3 months.”
	Bottoms up to 12 daily meds and/or supplements!
Me:	(Next appointment) “The burning is better, but I still feel terrible.   My sinuses feel swollen inside, my whole face hurts and it even hurts to smile.  My headache never goes away, I’m tired, I’m depressed, I feel disconnected. I feel like I have a hangover and I don’t drink!”
Neurologist:	“Really? Double the medicine! More injections in the face! MRI.”
Me:	“I will take the MRI, I’m not putting more medicine into my body and I don’t want your needle in my face.”  (Neurologist #1 will soon be fired.)
	I sought out conventional medicine to feel better, why do I feel worse?  What is going to happen to me? A student and a friend each suggest an integrative practice, another friend refers me to one.
Integrative Nurse Practitioner:	(She actually listened to the saga you are reading about!) “We need to find the cause, not just treat the symptoms. Let’s do a blood test today to see what foods you may be allergic or sensitive to - these things often start in the gut and cause symptoms you describe. Let’s check for candida and other parasites. Think about what has changed in your life during the last few years, something is a tipping point.”
Me:	“I changed jobs and school buildings 8 years ago.”
Integrative Nurse Practitioner:	“It’s possible that chronic exposure to something in that environment was the tipping point.  For now, lets get some data.” (A large paper bag filled with boxes, vials, directions, gloves, sticks, stickers, return mailing labels, hazardous material envelopes… a regular ole bag ‘o data fun.  Saliva, urine and stool sample kits just for me!) “See you in a month, in the meantime - no dairy, no eggs, no soy, no peanuts, no sugar, no gluten and of course no artificial sweeteners or alcohol.”
Me:	“Ok.”  (Too overwhelmed to say anything else.)
	At home, I have a mini-meltdown on day 3 and call the practice.
Integrative practice office:	“Well, come talk to our nutritionist, she can help you through this.”
Nutritionist:	“Ok, dear… I called the testing lab to get your results so our meeting would be more meaningful. I’m sorry this list is so long...this is what is says...this is what it means...this is what I like to use...here are flyers, websites, and books that will be helpful too… try to eat a foods only once every four days... it takes a while, don’t get discouraged...just avoid artificial sweeteners, sugar, alcohol and… almonds banana barley green beans lima beans white beans red beans bran carrots cashews casein cashews cheddar cheese cottage cheese swiss cheese corn cranberry cucumber eggs white egg yolk flaxseed gluten horseradish malt honeydew melon cow’s milk goat’s milk millet mushrooms paprika parsley peanuts pecans red pepper pistachios poppy seeds radishes rye safflower sesame soybeans teff turnip walnuts wheat whey bakers’ yeast brewers’ yeast yogurt zucchini Again, I am sorry to lay this on you all at once. This is a long list.”
Me:	“Yes, it is a long list- but it gives me hope that I can feel better.”

Is this the end of the five year, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad detour? Let’s see what story the rest of the data tells. I certainly hope way leads on to way.  

Part 5:  The other road

After the nutritionist reviewed the results of my food allergy and sensitivity tests and apologized for the 49 foods I needed to avoid in addition to alcohol, artificial sweeteners and all sugars -- I left the office, slammed the car door and cried for a couple of minutes.  I repeated, “I can feel better.” I thought, I’ve got to accept this new life because I can’t change it. Be courageous and get on with it.  No one else is going to do this for me. This is a journey of at least a thousand miles!

Then, I took the first single step, I flipped the switch in my brain and decided to take the other road.  I think I actually hear Mickey Rooney singing the Bass and Laws lyrics from a scene in Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town:

“Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walking out the door

If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don't be the rule, be the exception
A good way to start is to stand”

So, here I am - standing at another set of diverging roads, ready to change the direction of this journey called my life by doubling back and taking the other road this time.

My brother checked in with me a few days ago, “Hey, how’s the dirt and grass diet going?”  No milk, eggs, gluten, sugar, corn, nuts and soy (not to mention everything else) feels like 75% of my food supply is wiped out. Luckily, I am not relegated to the dirt and grass diet; I actually can eat quite a variety of foods.  When I share my list of “can’t haves” with people, the response is usually a joking, “Well, what can you eat?”

After the sympathetic laugh, family and friends really do care; with their help I am staying focused on what I can have, and my…

...friends assure me I will feel better.

...Mom bought a cookbook, Googles facts and recipes everyday, and recently accompanied me   

  on a shopping and label reading escapade.

...Aunts are suggesting recipes.

...Sister-in law is taste tasting my creations and making helpful suggestions to improve recipes.

...Daughter is whipping me up fruity deserts and her friend is teaching me to make breads and

  other staples with the ingredients I can have.

...Son actually listened to the list of things I can’t have.

...Mother-in-law shares her wisdom of being a plant-based diet veteran.

...Dad is raising hormone-free beef for the freezer and leaves gates to his garden open - but

  I won’t be picking, snapping, blanching, freezing or eating those damn green beans! I

   officially cannot eat them.

...Brother is helping me share my story.

...and my husband isn’t complaining about the inflated grocery bill.  In fact, he may be walking

  down the allergy-free road with me.

 

However, even with all of the support, in the end… it is me that has to take the first steps.  I often glance down at my bracelet.  Just keep going, it says. So I put one foot in front of the other and go.

A couple of months ago a dear friend gave me another bracelet inscribed “She believed she could, so she did.”  I couldn’t wear it back then because I was lost; I didn’t have enough hope to believe. I’m wearing it now, I can do it.  I’m on the right road.  This, I believe.

So, there it is in five parts...  a tribute to Edward R. Murrow and to myself.