I met with a nutritionist to go over the results of my food allergy and sensitivity tests. She patiently mapped out the things I can have and the 49 things I can’t have in addition to refined sugar, alcohol and artificial sweeteners. She offered shopping tips, recommendations, and answers to my questions. Although I felt hopeful and empowered to take steps to heal myself from the inside out, I had a two minute pity party in the parking lot. Then, I dried my eyes and accepted this new way life. I mustered up some courage and started the long journey back to health.
Journeys take planning. I had made my decision - I was determined to begin. However, just like flight attendants prepare the cabin for take-off, I needed to prepare for my journey as well. So, on my way home, I decided to make a quick run to the grocery store to pick up a few things on my can have list. I swiftly grabbed some safe fruits, vegetables and meats. But, knowing my eating habits, I knew that I also needed to find baking ingredients to whip up something that resembled bread. 90 quick minutes later, I emerged with more than just a few things. I didn’t necessarily know what I was going to whip up with these ingredients, or where I would put them, but at least I had them. I had supplies. I was somewhat prepared.
I actually gathered an abundance of supplies in just 90 minutes. I have one small cupboard for baking ingredients which is just large enough to hold my five pound bag of white flour, a five pound bag of sugar, a can of cocoa, a canister of breadcrumbs and... my ambition for baking. I stuffed all I could into the baking cupboard using my perfected “cram and slam” method which is built upon the premise that if the door closes, it’s fine. It wasn’t fine. It was a mess.
Clean out my cupboard? Really? This recommendation appears in many blogs and books about the journey to become allergy-free. Obviously cupboards, refrigerators and freezers filled with safe foods increase the probability of staying on course and limit temptations and detours. I looked at the mess and thought, “But, waste all that food? But, it’s not all about me - other people live in this house who can eat these things. But, I’m not really sure if I can have some of these things.” But, what journey is free from obstacles?
My husband, daughter and I started cleaning one cupboard at a time; we read the labels and kept the things we knew I could have. We googled foods we were unsure about such as balsamic vinegars, which by the way, are not all created equally. Balsamic vinegars made from pressed grape-must were kept, and those made with artificial colors or grain based (possibly glutenized) thickeners were not. We kept a few items for my son and remaining items were divided up amongst piles designated for other family or friends. The food we wasted was a victim of freezer burn, officially expired, or it had been lurking in the back of the crisper for a bit too long. We reorganized the cupboards into sections (to an extent), making it easier to see the can have and can’t have items.
Even somewhat organized cupboards, the "cram and slam" method for the small baking cupboard still failed. We couldn’t fit the white rice, brown rice, tapioca, gluten free, coconut, buckwheat and garbanzo bean flours into the small space. Remembering the penny candy jar filled with Saltine crackers that still sits on my mother’s kitchen counter and the cookie-mix jars I had made with my children for holiday gifts, I treated myself to some new canning jars to hold my dry goods. I found some twine and cardboard that was in useable condition for labels, enlisted my daughter and… all items were safely stowed.
The cupboards are ready for take-off. I stare at my jars, look through the cupboards, refrigerator and freezer. I scour cookbooks, read allergy free books and scroll through blogs. I have yet to find a ready-made “just right for me” recipe that is dairy, egg, soy, wheat, gluten, yeast, corn, (to name a few) free. No journey is without it’s obstacles or turbulence. I am a pilot in training, but at least I’m in the air. I'm close to whipping up something that resembles bread, but still I I dump, mix, shape, bake, taste, tweak and try again.
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